For the heart to be spacious enough to hold God, it must be emptied of self. Only real love is fully self-emptying (Greek kenōsis, κένωσις). Love is the full pouring out of the self for the other. When the self is poured out fully, then there is space for God. When the door of the heart is open, so that love may go out, then Love Himself may also enter through that door, and God comes and makes His place with us. But until love may go out, it cannot come in.
An open heart receives many gifts, and gives much from its own plentiness. But a closed heart receives none.
Love is the pouring out of the self for the other. It is self-denial and self-emptying. Consider the word and example of Christ and the Cross:
"If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." (Matthew 16:24)
[Christ] emptied (ekenōsen, ἐκένωσεν) himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a Cross. (Philippians 2:7-8)
"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends." (John 15:13)
Christ poured Himself out for His friends even unto death, and we are invited to follow Him—each to be like a servant to others, and even to lay down our lives if needed. This is true self-denial, the kind that is able to truly love.
The heart's desire to do good works—works of love and mercy—is its capacity to receive the Good, who is God, and who "is love" (1 John 4:8). The more the heart pours itself out to others, the more it receives. And the open heart always gains more than it gives, for God is gracious.
A cup must be emptied before it may be filled with the good wine. Again, the self must be denied and poured out to others in order to make space for God.
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